If you want to be a better communicator, you don’t need to sound like a TED Talk or Channel Oprah. You need to be: Real. Respectful. Curious. Open. Mindful. Emotionally intelligent.
After more than two decades working with CEOs, frontline teams and everyone in between – across sectors from childcare to finance, and locations from Grafton to Ho Chi Minh – here are 10 tried-and-tested communication tips that actually work (and won’t make you cringe).
These aren’t fluffy. They’re field-tested in conflict zones – both real and metaphorical. They’ll help you show up with more confidence, clarity and connection, even in the toughest conversations.
1. Ditch the script – be present. Great communicators listen to understand, not to respond. Stay mindful in the moment and tuned into the other person. Do I actually hear what they’re saying, or am I just listening to my own “yeah, but…” defensiveness?
2. Pause before you pounce. When emotions run high, take a breath. A single moment of pause can mean the difference between a breakthrough…and a blow-up! Breathe. Take a break. Rather than dealing with the consequences of an emotional boil-over, wait until you’ve cooled down. Calm mind = calm communication.
3. Own your impact – not just your intent. In your mind you may mean well, but if your message lands like a slap, that’s what the other person feels. Are you mindful of how you’re coming across – not stuck on what you meant?
4. Be curious, not combative. Conflict often stems from misunderstood motives. Ask questions. Try to get where they’re coming from. You don’t have to agree. You just need to understand.
5. Match your message to their mode. A text might work for lunch plans. It doesn’t work for performance feedback. Is this the right time, the right space + the right communication medium?
6. Name the elephant – don’t dance around it. Clarity is kindness. If there’s tension, don’t avoid it – call it in, respectfully. “I’ve noticed our communication has changed recently…can we chat?”
7. Be careful of assumptions + accusations. If someone cuts you off in a meeting, avoid negative assumptions. “I wasn’t sure if you were aware I hadn’t finished speaking…” vs. “You always interrupt me!”Curious opens a door. Blame slams it.
8. Speak with spine + heart. Courage and compassion aren’t opposites – they’re teammates. Say the hard thing. Say it with care.Person-up.
9. Know your triggers + traps. Self-awareness is a superpower. What shuts you down? What fires you up? The more you understand your (inner) patterns, the more skilful your (outer) communication becomes.
10. Leave people feeling safe, seen + heard. Great communication isn’t about being right – it’s about building relationships. It’s not about winning, it’s about connection.One conversation at a time.
BONUS TIP: Communication isn’t a “soft skill.” It’s a powerful life skill. If we want better teams, cultures + outcomes – we need better conversations. And that starts with how we show up, especially when it’s hard.
Subscribe to our NEW YouTube Channel on Difficult Conversations (+ Communication Skills) – Check out this video: ‘What is a Difficult Conversation?’
