It can’t be understated. The capacity to feel empathy enables us to understand the other. To put ourself in their experience.
Inquiring:
How would I feel in their position?
What would I need if that was me?
Now, of course, it is not to assume what the other would want.
We do need to be curious and explore what they actually feel and need.
These self-inquiry questions do, however, begin to open our awareness (+ heart).
In my role, I see a major contributing factor in conflict is lack of empathy for the other.
Empathy is often avoided and is replaced with ‘they’ blame.
They… They… They…
It can be hard for us to take responsibility for harm.
It is painful to admit wrongdoing.
So we avoid responsibility and divert with blame.
It takes off some heat (in the short term)
In the longer term, the chasm of conflict widens.
The misunderstanding escalates.
And I am called in!
For the benefit of personal + professional growth, take responsibility for your contribution and the impact on the other.
Ask yourself:
How would I feel in their position?
What would I need if that was me?
Everyone will be happier.